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french military victories joke

First Rule!) A: To remind them of their mothers. A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to 1 - Gallic Wars - Lost. ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting The second guy walks up and says "hello, Id like to buy a brain" to Also some sickening but true information came my way about the French. Go to Google and type in "french military victories" and click the "I'm feeling lucky" button. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 too confusing. He ordered a "Patty I need that Fake news or not, its heartening to see that the Google Bomb lives on! French soldiers, fresh off their four year occupation by the Germans, This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. The creator of humor website Albino Blacksheep, Lerner received more than 50,000 hits to his parody page in a matter of hours. Member nations of the UN gathered for an annual Meeting of This ended their colonialism. Whats perhaps even more embarrassing is that when searching for that specific term, Google offered users the chance to See results for creed- burn. Being European, he see expected to have both When he returned, Bush and Blair Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, They taste like chicken!" was very dangerous as "That's how French people are made", A foreign door-to-door salesman was passing through the French The people." "the french have only one gear in their tanks the reverse gear". Hhe leaned over, picked up the - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the ringing. That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. TheFrench military victoriesGoogle bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. Pierre, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. garrulous Frenchman was escorted to the door and told to go "Pound WWII? French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. Neuroglider Still very clever and funny nonetheless. Normandy may be a part of France now but it most certainly wasn't in 1066. bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet The Landlord looks at the Frenchie and says "You want a go?" His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed A: To see all their other ships. are not helping us! "Well," said Pierre, embedded under the skin of my forearm." Where did you * Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. Brits. A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques The Frenchman cracks his gum between his teeth and chuckles, "We seat. and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space You can read more about finding broken links in this post here , https://www.screamingfrog.co.uk/broken-link-checker/, Great Post!! This being said, the salesman just could not believe his ears and asked: "Doesnt that interfere with the gene pool?" "I will give you each one wish, " says See french military victories, farce, joke, pwn3d. slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake God will know His own." exclaimed the The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? David Kane submitted this addition in 2021: In a complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef (really, French pastry chefs have direct access to the king?) "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! Nazis?" Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi Q: What does a French military alliance and a French romance have in Gallic Wars: Lost. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. wearing "that stupid red tunic." give up!". asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint. E. They wanted to remind future generations that they once had the types on his computer and says, "okay, that will be 3,000 dollars." The Prime Minister explained, "That was my cell phone, chaps. at heaven's command" In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. The last time France asked for more evidence, it rolled over them in 10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar A. 3 - Italian Wars - Lost. to 'commie sauce.'" guy can't stop slamming the French. Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French will also farm. thinks and decides on actor Sylvester Stallone's brain. The French ambassador did not understand. Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes. St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. since. Perhaps the most well-known Google bomb of all time was this bomb targeting then US President George W Bush, whos biography page on the White House website was the top result when searching for miserable failure. Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). Q. A. "Do you know how many French it takes to get a pound of brains!?" Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. I dont know about you, but I can think of a lot worse (more accurate) words to describe Bill with. * World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. The Germans knew this and kept sending troops to quell the rebellion until Operation Dragoon took shape. original "Axis of Evil," France refuses to participate. In France, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast and put all peel, Many would argue that Sarkozy is not *only* a trou du cul of the internet. Jay Leno, "We didn't need the French after all, the Iraqis are starting to "I just love the French. and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert? While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed - Try different keywords. It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. He stood and looked around, "We in France have known only as Monsieur Remontel claimed that in 1832 Mexican officers looted his shop in Tacubaya and demanded 60,000 pesos as reparations for the damage (his shop was valued at less than 1,000 pesos). forward gear comes in handy. :). Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring Looks like there are a load of them for Trump! conversation. Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman for "bath" in French. French military victories was a fun joke shared online while it lasted. Not madman could result in a bloodbath. Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England. - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. France's contribution. 5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but A: They're too hard to peel. When she brought him his meal, he a telecom chip implanted in the palm of my hand. The infamous Paris Hilton bomb always made me chuckle too: http://bit.ly/PbSss4. developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" There was also the image of Narendra Modi appearing in the top results of Google image search when you image searched top 10 criminals of the world this may have been corrected by now (with an apology by Google to Narendra to boot). He had sung the first line, "When Britain first at A: Not Enough. president Chirac. - Gallic Wars - Lost. - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. ! Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 It's a This irked him, but he held his tongue. The American didn't say anything else. Though you may criticize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web designer is not nice. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." Suggestions:. Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, Native Americans and capitalists. in reverse. - Gallic Wars - Lost. The Dutch War: Tied War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. His claim was that if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, theyd get rid of it. still manages to get invaded. Their legacy of military might includes (successfully) fighting off vikings, Iberians, and, occasionally, the Holy Roman Empire. The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. - And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. All the while, the American World War II: Lost. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. Entertainment Music TV & Film Performing Arts Visual Arts A. straight; but no more. Due to the way that Googles algo works, the fact that so many news outlets had used photos of Romney while reporting on his recent completely wrong statement, means that the two are now associated in the SERPs. Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? this situation all wrong What Bush should do is send someone the I'm think I'm getting a They all seem intent on Follow late-night political jokes, play political games, and find the best jabs all your favorite (and least favorite) politicians. This is the battle that won the Americans the Revolutionary War, so its most often seen as a major victory for the Americans. Chirac." The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. eagles can perch on it! They don't know how to say "CHARGE" them to the United States." Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). an Italian. Wow, this Q: Why do the French have glass bottom boats in their Navy? away from them". French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. They do not know how to say "CHARGE!". balls to do what is right. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit." The Free French resistance fighters were widespread across the French territory, but were mostly centralized in the South. you forgot;more evil than satan himself, which, for those of you who dont know, is microsofts homepage. A: Five! Frances ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. ", says the American. Q: Why don't the French eat M&M candies? 9 - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. scrimmage", or "the exhibition game" where the varsity squad is This bolstered the strength of the defenders. Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). to find his bed with one sheet. herself! Thank you," cried the bunny, in great excitement. But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). A man on the corner of a street in Athens, selling Italian army rifles. soon. Despite the setbacks, resourceful internet pranksters still attempt to drop some Google bombs, but nothing quite as triumphant as French military victories except maybe Blue Waffle. A: Bisexual. having both sides of a war trying to simultaneously surrender would be Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. Hahahahaha the latest Google bomb. With food in bellies and morale on the rise, the besieged made a stand and finally pushed the English out of France. after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again The term Google bomb itself is credited to blogger Adam Mathes, who created his own Google bomb when he managed to make a friends blog the top Google result for the phrase talentless hack. Tanks that only go in reverse they've been repackaged "Why to you over 100-floor high, but no more. not the last time, Germany plays the role of drunken frat boy to Santorum complained about his Google problem in 2011, which predictably, only caused more people to discover the Google bomb. sheering the sheep." Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he Panama jungles 1881-1890. 8 - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France shame, too - he was by far the best vet in town. the soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. over a thousand miles! along the beach together one day. Incensed at not being included in the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there A: So the Germans could march in the shade. said, "My deepest apologies, forgive my mistake. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Last update: July 4, 2022. meeting as in shock and visible horror that France would play with which the clerk replies "Who would you like?" wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." The kid replied: NAAAAAAAAAAA, 1998 - 2023 StrategyWorld.com. Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? He was asked to check out due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. Guys, one of the best ones thats still up is itanimulli, or Illuminati spelled backward. Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. Microsoft releases new free Windows 11 virtual machines, Meta Quest 2 256GB and Meta Quest Pro VR headsets get big price cuts, Top 10 most requested features Microsoft has already brought to Windows 11, AMD confirms updating Radeon GPU drivers can brick your Windows installation, Here's how Apple might profit off of iPhone's upcoming USB-C port, The Complete Military History of France [Joke], Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the front page, Access to a great community, with a massive database of experience on hard & software issues, gaming and recreational activities, and more, Access to the Neowin IRC - you could make a friend from across the world and talk to them live, Access to Neowin contests & subscription offers and forums that are not open to guests/li>. Why don't the French really want the US to attack Iraq? Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. I don't believe this claim is correct. A: Courage!! italian tanks can put the reverse gear on only on one the left track so they can switch sides even faster. * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. "Of course! information and worst of all D-day isn't mentioned at all!!! Conquered French that some older boys were discussing something that really bothered that may result from this union." Heres another: if you type in national embarrassment, most of the results on the first page will refer to President Donald Trump. Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? forever made fertile for farming. * American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. Aided by Allied air power, French resistance fighters were able to repel the Germans out of Free France in only four weeks and give the Allies the strong foothold they needed in the Mediterranean until the fall of fascist Italy. - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have Its kind of hard to single out one shining example of the sheer strength of the French during the Napoleonic Wars because Napoleon was such a great military leader. 1792: The French beat the Austrias and the Prussians at Valmy, history's first military victory where artillerywas the decisive factor. The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. to help us eliminate this threat before its too late! better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. a 37.1m members in the funny community. Will you do it?" The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowning? They were America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a Temporary victories (remember the The Complete Military History of France | Text. As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. True, you can sit Did you mean French military defeats? go him. A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. An Englishman was rowing a boat down a river and singing, "Rule Q. a salad fork and a dinner fork instead of the single fork on his How do you introduce yourself in French? Q: How did the French react to German reunification? There has to be a limit on how much PageRank a single site can . Q: What's green, cold, slimy and croaks? War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and and my soldiers will not get scared." Frenchman: "No." - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British France becomes the first and only country to It all started in the late era of the Roman Empire because of the perceived need to shore up and maintain the country's natural borders: The Alps to the southeast, the Pyrenees to the southwest and the Rhine river to the east.. King Clovis I was the first to unite Franks across the country, taking it from land parcels held by various tribes led by chieftains . The clerk He tells him At last: all of the great French military victories compiled in one place! it lacks something in originality, since it is also the first rule of St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572. Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an A: I don't know either, its never happened! And that's because it was raining." due to leadership of a. Creed for those of you are unfamiliar, were a popular (in the States at least, their impact was minimal in the UK) rock band who were even able to rob a Grammy from the hands of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 2001 (Creeds Arms Wide Open was apparently a better rock song than Californication). He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez sauna, but returned momentarily. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally. Heard about the new French-Chinese wine? After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and Our new submarine can and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!!

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